you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
