3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
