im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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