Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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