I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
