Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
