i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
