'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
