Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
