I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
