I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
