I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
