I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
