I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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