Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
from now on my penis is your penis
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
