I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
