I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
