All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm drive I can fine osifer
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
