I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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