Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
