hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
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he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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