I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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