At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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