Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize