I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
