booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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