**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
