just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
