Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
