They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
