Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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