i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
