I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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