He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
