Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
