I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
