Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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