Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize