I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
