I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm at about main and main street
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
