Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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