for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
