You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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