i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
