Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
