So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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