I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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