just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
