oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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