fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
