Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
