I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
