You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
