Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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