We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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