Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Houston, we have a squirter
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
