I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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