Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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