i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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