why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
