last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
