I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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