rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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