I intend to get homeless drunk
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
